Being part of the asexual spectrum and having no idea what to do, even if you’re heteroromantic, because there’s no teaching about asexuality.
#queercatholicproblems
lmao the catholic teaching is two thumbs up, numbskull
There’s no need to call me names. Sorry you felt the need to.
No, the Catholic teaching is not “two thumbs up” in many cases. There is another post exactly about this. Take for example an ace who does not want to have sex but is heteroromantic and would like to get married. If the marriage is never consummated, the Church considers it illegitimate, even if it’s between two celibate aces.
These issues may not be important to you, and they’re not an issue for me but there are people who struggle with this.
oop het aces aren’t queer, do not pass go, do not collect $200
oh and btw marriages do not need to be consummated in order to be considered legitimate. in fact, the catholic church teaches that mary and joseph had a celibate marriage.
however, marriages that have not been consummated can be dissolved, while those that have been consummated cannot. of course, this has nothing to do with the “legitimacy” of the marriage and is instead a reflection of the church’s teachings regarding sexual fidelity within marriage.
the church also does encourage those that wish to remain celibate to instead live alone or join a religious order, but they can still get married if they want to. while the church primarily conceives of marriage as an institution designed for the raising of children, celibate couples can of course adopt or if they remain childless and celibate, to quote the catechism on couples without children, “Their marriage can radiate a fruitfulness of charity, of hospitality, and of sacrifice.”
try again
why is a queer focused tumblr going on about a straight couple’s marriage anyway, jfc. i can guarantee you i give no fucks whether or not a ~heteroromantic~ couple’s union is seen as legitimate by the church, when mine is seen as a fucking abomination that’s not even granted full legitimacy by the state.
basically i couldn’t care less about #straightcatholicproblems, sorry
gosh what a hard life a theoretical het asexual celibate catholic couple have. Their problems are way worse than ours, we must divert all our resources to help them!
or you know, not.
Gosh what a strange person wishing to play Who Has It Worst with someone who has and had no intent of creating such a message! Well done tumblr activists and nonas! You found all the things that never existed until you came along and made them up!
No one said anything about any problems being worse, and people are reading so far into the original post it’s both funny and sickening.
hey queercatholicproblems gj pretending that your words exist in a vaccum and conveniently ignoring the issue of a blog that’s supposed to be about QUEERS, by queers, for queers, getting all high-and-mighty about the fact that most queers just don’t fucking care about the problems of het married couples
Like of fucking course people are going to be a little defensive when you lecture them about how het asexuals “struggle” with these issues and not to be dismissive of them, etc, when in most places queer people still can’t even fucking GET MARRIED in the first place. It’s not about who has it “worse”, because that implies that heteroromantic asexuals are at all marginalized in terms of catholic marriage, when that’s clearly not the case.
I’m really fucking tired of this “het aces can have their marriages annulled if they don’t have sex”, as though there were seriously legislators and lobbyists and religious officials going around trying to systemically tear het asexual marriages apart, prevent het asexual people from starting families, etc. As though the handful of intrusive jackasses who make it their business how much sex their het neighbors are having have any systemic power over said neighbor’s relationship status.
You know what, I’m a queer lady in a long-term relationship with a dude. Guess how much anyone cares about the existence of our sex lives. FUCKING ZERO is the amount of shits that people give! The only pressure we get is in the form of “when are we getting grandkids” from our families, which isn’t pressure about sex, it’s pressure about forming a family in the Western capitalist nuclear family structure. It’s not “sexual supremacy”, it’s fucking capitalism and heterosexism and misogyny. As long as we look like a nice het couple holding hands in public no one fucking cares if we have sex every night or once a month or ever at all.
BUT OH! Guess how many invasive questions I get about my sex life when I’m with a lady, though, or anyone who isn’t read as a man? ALL THE INVASIVE QUESTIONS. ALL OF THEM. ALL THE TIME.
So you know, take it from someone who has been on both sides of this situation: the idea that het couples are in any danger if they don’t have sex is bunk. And I’m tired of people using relationships like mine - straight-passing/straight-privileged relationships - to rhetorically bludgeon queer people in visibly queer relationships for not caring about relationships like mine and the relationships of people who aren’t even queer in the first damn place. Just no. Fucking stop. A couple’s sex life is only systemically considered public domain IF they are considered to be “deviant”. This is Sexuality And Politics 101. This is the introduction to the History of Sexuality. This is not hard to understand.
In conclusion, read some fucking queer theory.
hands down this is the dumbest thing i’ve seen w/r/t str8 aces complaining about oppression. this might be up there with ‘ace people died in the holocaust too’.
not only is it easier for you to get married but you could easily dissolve your marriage, thus saving you a lot of headache if u needed a divorce. that is literally the only thing that is different about being a str8 ace catholic.
I think it’s almost dangerous to not treat this as a queer issue. While I agree that the heteroromantic aspect is totally not queer, we also have to look at the asexual part of it. No, asexual people are not oppressed the way queer people are, I know that from my non-heteronormative relationships. However, I agree with the original post that there needs to be a conversation (at least in the queer community) about asexuality. From what I know (and I admit, my knowledge is limited), there’s not really much discussion on asexuality or resources for asexuals to channel their ideas/questions/etc.
